Waking... waking... waking...
How can one awaken if in reality there is only the awakened state?
Sometimes I feel myself as a huge being of light with infinite wisdom. Other times I am a struggling mother with a flabby belly and a messy home.
Of course, I know I am both... all.
Yet, the reality is that this reality is a tricky one. It is so full of potential, that somehow I have created an entire story and made it real. Wow! Now that is powerful.
Yet, the truth is, I don't exactly remember how I did this. Oh, yes, I know people claim to know the "secret," but I don't. Well, I only have a vague memory of the plan, the workings, the so-called truth.
I have chosen to stay asleep to this, however, and I yearn to awaken. Or do I?
Isn't this the glorious experience? To know, but forget you know, and then try to remember?
In the meantime, I am learning to cherish the forgetfulness. To laugh, to play, to be perfectly human. Sometimes the mommy struggles, sometimes she soars. Sometimes the belly squeezes itself into a tight pair of jeans, sometimes it is caressed with love and kindness. Sometimes the house is messy and chaotic, sometimes it is the center of the Universe, filled with love and life and everything outside it disappears completely.
Hm.... a strange, yet fascinating experience full of air, water, earth and fire. The elements of life itself.
Am I awakening? Maybe I have awakened. I seem to know the basics. Perhaps this is good enough.
Showing posts with label Awakening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awakening. Show all posts
April 30, 2010
May 31, 2009
Less lonely... excited for what's unfolding
We are waking up at such an incredible rate! This is very exciting!
This weekend, I spoke at the "Children of the New Earth" Conference in Sacramento. It was fairly well attended, considering it was it's first year. Seeing all the people - adults, children, teens - enthusiastically participating, volunteering, playing, presenting, communing and being fully present was heartwarming indeed.
Throughout my talk, I kept feeling the "higher" frequencies expanding in and around me. Whoosh! and I'd feel the dizziness and see other realms. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE washing through my beingness and in and out of my heart.
The most touching part for me, however, occurred when I was serving on the Educational panel. Here, amongst five other enlightened women and an audience of open hearts, I finally felt - for the FIRST TIME in my LIFE - that "we" were actually getting "there!" Or, actually, it felt like others had been able to see and trust the "new" vision, which had been part of my knowing for so long.
This isn't meant to be pretentious in any way... but I am having a hard time describing the feeling I experienced in non-dualistic words or anything like that...
The realization (or "Oh, my God" moment) that I was finally heard and people were finally getting me - well, not just "me", the little ol' Veronica on planet earth - the were resonating with me at a vibrational level.
I wanted to cry! They're awakening! They're really awakening! Oh my God! The deep loneliness that has been buried in my soul for so long felt as if it was going to be a long forgotten sadness someday soon!
Really? Is this real? I am excited, hopeful, and hesitantly waiting to see if it will actually be...
This weekend, I spoke at the "Children of the New Earth" Conference in Sacramento. It was fairly well attended, considering it was it's first year. Seeing all the people - adults, children, teens - enthusiastically participating, volunteering, playing, presenting, communing and being fully present was heartwarming indeed.
Throughout my talk, I kept feeling the "higher" frequencies expanding in and around me. Whoosh! and I'd feel the dizziness and see other realms. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE washing through my beingness and in and out of my heart.
The most touching part for me, however, occurred when I was serving on the Educational panel. Here, amongst five other enlightened women and an audience of open hearts, I finally felt - for the FIRST TIME in my LIFE - that "we" were actually getting "there!" Or, actually, it felt like others had been able to see and trust the "new" vision, which had been part of my knowing for so long.
This isn't meant to be pretentious in any way... but I am having a hard time describing the feeling I experienced in non-dualistic words or anything like that...
The realization (or "Oh, my God" moment) that I was finally heard and people were finally getting me - well, not just "me", the little ol' Veronica on planet earth - the were resonating with me at a vibrational level.
I wanted to cry! They're awakening! They're really awakening! Oh my God! The deep loneliness that has been buried in my soul for so long felt as if it was going to be a long forgotten sadness someday soon!
Really? Is this real? I am excited, hopeful, and hesitantly waiting to see if it will actually be...
April 29, 2009
Crashing and Fading
Our senses are crashing! Our sense of self, our sense of direction, our sense of what's right and wrong... all crashing!
So, what is the value of this?
"What is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"
"I don't know... I don't even remember how I got here."
Someone shake me awake!
Some One Is.
As we awaken, all of who we thought we were begins to fade away with the dream. The intense feelings, the complete absorption about the storyline, the strange-yet-familiar characters all begin to fade.
Yet in that middle place, in the stretch of existence that lies between the dreamstate and the awakened state, there is confusion. Which reality is real? What's happening... oh, no! the dream is fading. Where is it going? Who am I? Where am I? I think I'm in bed. I feel my bed. Wait! What day is it? What DAY is it... think, think... I think it's Wednesday.
Is is Wednesday? All day I drift in and out of the knowing of the day. I only know it is TODAY, and that's good enough.
In my daily activities, I feel myself fading with the dream, and sometimes it feels like I'm crashing!
So, what is the value of this?
"What is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"
"I don't know... I don't even remember how I got here."
Someone shake me awake!
Some One Is.
As we awaken, all of who we thought we were begins to fade away with the dream. The intense feelings, the complete absorption about the storyline, the strange-yet-familiar characters all begin to fade.
Yet in that middle place, in the stretch of existence that lies between the dreamstate and the awakened state, there is confusion. Which reality is real? What's happening... oh, no! the dream is fading. Where is it going? Who am I? Where am I? I think I'm in bed. I feel my bed. Wait! What day is it? What DAY is it... think, think... I think it's Wednesday.
Is is Wednesday? All day I drift in and out of the knowing of the day. I only know it is TODAY, and that's good enough.
In my daily activities, I feel myself fading with the dream, and sometimes it feels like I'm crashing!
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